Impurest Cheese  How to Save a Thunderbolt
by Impurest Cheese
Summary: Impurest Cheese learns of some bad news and sets out to save his favourite super team from being shelved, Devoid of powers he uses the only weapon is a strongly worded letter. Will he prevail? Probably Not but it was worth a try at the very least.


This week I read some shocking news on a Marvel Blog Site; The Thunderbolts might be shelved to poor revenue and reader status. Further research didn't confirm or deny this rumour, something even more worrying then actually knowing what fate has in store for them. As such I decided to write this completely fanon and at times humorous guide: How to Save the Thunderbolts. (Everything listed below is my opinion; if you think different please comment.)

Impurest Cheese

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><p>Dear Marvel<p>

Recently I read that the Thunderbolts were in danger of being shelved. As such I came up with some suggestions to save my favourite super team.

**Step 1. - Look at Thunderbolt History.**

The Thunderbolts first appeared in 1997, almost fifteen years ago, through that time ratings went up and down as expected. The first thing required to save the Thunderbolts is a look at what worked and what didn't and prevent the same mistakes happening again.

**1.1 - Things That Worked**

**Villains Masquerading as Heros**

This is what the Thunderbolts was all about, something that developed a range of quite frankly background characters and 'Villains of the Week' into the big names they are today, virtually nobody cared about the Beetle, Screaming Mimi, Moonstone or Smuggler before they became Thunderbolts. In addition the chance of redemption is, has and will always be a good seller whether it's Darth Vader saving Luke from the Emperor, Hawkeye giving up a life of crime or the heel turn the Elites preformed in Halo 2/3; these changes of character add depth, create heros and make readers interested in further development. That said the team always had some 'Psychos' who were playing along for their own evil ends, something that became more apparent as the comics continued.

**Sticking it to the Avengers**

Of course all good things come to and end and soon the Thunderbolts were ousted as villains. Since then the Thunderbolts have come to blows with the Avengers at least three times as well as coming to blows with individual members. While it was nice to see the Thunderbolts as Heros it was even cooler to see the darker side, even that of generally heroic members such as MACH (Whatever number you happen to be using) and Songbird

**Team Relations**

Whether is was between Hawkeye and Moonstone, MACH Insert Number and Songbird, Atlas and Vantage, Zemo and Songbird and Satana with Everyone, the romance (or lack of) made the Thunderbolts three-dimensional characters giving the reader a chance to look into there lives and see them as characters with their own problems. Of course the image of Satana and Moonstone engaging in Sapphic acts was also a turn on for fan-boys (and some fan-girls) everywhere and has been engraved in my mind forever since I saw it.

**Team Changes**

The Thunderbolts have, to my knowledge, changed teams more times, and have more members, then any other group, except the X-Men who seem to constantly gain new mutants every new episode that comes out. The new recruits were generally established, often poorly known individuals, given a second chance, it gave us a chance to see the motivations of the villains and even see some redeem themselves. That said there were always at least one or two core members who stuck around to keep the team stocked with some familiar faces.

**Core Members**

Baron Zemo, Songbird, Fixer, Atlas, MACH Insert Number and Moonstone are the classic Thunderbolts and the individuals that nearly every Marvel Fan thinks of when the team's name is mentioned. Because of this they have become well developed and can easily be thrown into conflict with the new members, something that always sells comics and can be used to boost the lesser known villains they come into contact with. Later characters such as Photon and Chen Lu the Radiation Man would enter the same category as the originals effectively replacing Fixer and Atlas as Core Members.

**Civil War Bolts**

Perhaps the Thunderbolt Team containing the biggest names ever. Comprised entirely of A and B list villains/heros, (Venom, Osborne, Bullseye, Songbird and Moonstone - A List, Radiation Man, Penance and Swordsman - B List), as well as being well written, it was this team that got me hooked on the Thunderbolts. In addition the team preserved the Redemption/Psycho Balance relatively well allowing for conflict within and outside the team.

**1.2 - Things that didn't work.**

**Charcoal **

Charcoal was a good character but due to ownership problems he was quickly extinguished. While it was cool to see a reader made character it would probably be wise to avoid this.

**Disappearing Bolts**

While it was only natural for some of the bolts to die, more often then not they disappeared after they left the team. While few care what happened to members such as Cyclone, Harrier and Black Heath when big names and fan favourites such as Blizzard and Radiation Man disappear without a trace, and very little chance of return. Both characters, in my eyes, redeemed themselves, Radiation Man more then Blizzard, and could have gone on to be heros or reserve team members. Recently Blizzard was seen incarcerated in the Raft while Chen's fate remains unknown.

**Dark Bolts**

Osborne's Thunderbolts during Dark Reign are what I consider where the Thunderbolt's decline began. After the big names of the Civil War Bolts, villains such as Mr X, Headsman and Nuke were a little lack-lustre. What's more no Core Member was around to lead the team and for the first time the Redemption/Psycho Balance was visibly leaning towards the later despite the good intentions of Paladin, Ant Man and occasionally Headsman and Ghost. Despite a brief cameo from big names such as the Black Widow, Deadpool, Nick Fury and Songbird the transformation from Heros to Osborne's Hit Squad was not a good move by Marvel.

**The Raft **

Already weakened the prospect of returning favourites such as MACH Insert Number, Songbird, Moonstone and Fixer as well as big names such as Crossbones, Man Thing, Juggernaut and Luke Cage should have restored the franchise. Despite good intentions and a strong line up the damage done by the Dark Bolts seems to be, unless things massively change, terminal. While all the factors in section 1.1 are there it seems to be done in half measures. The characters seem forced, some even have seemed to take a U-Turn; a seemingly weak Songbird, benevolent Fixer and a Luke Cage ready to give up are all good examples of this.

**Bolts need Bad Guys with Star Power **

The main attraction to the Thunderbolts is that they mostly wanted to be redeemed. To do that they beat up bad-guys (and occasionally good guys) to discover their inner hero and eventually realise that they can be of worth to the general community. After all a big name super-hero team needs big name bad guys to fight against. So putting the Raft Bolts against nameless mutant SHIELD Agents, armies of Ninjas and giant Japanese monsters seems pointless. While the visuals are indeed nice, former teams clashed with the like of the Wrecking Crew, the Purple Man and the Green Goblin, all villains with more star power then those previously mentioned.

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><p><strong>Step 2 - Character Advancement<strong>

One problem with the most recent team of Thunderbolts is that the characters got a different level of advancement; while some got lots of coverage and character plots some have been largely ignored. The next section has some potential suggestions to stop the characters becoming 'one-trick ponies'.

**2.1 - Alpha Bolt Team**

**Luke Cage (Power Man)**

Many Thunderbolt fans don't like Luke Cage, there are entire forums dedicated to Cage Bashing, what many fail to notice is that you have an excellent foil to set against the Core Bolt Members such as Songbird, Fixer and MACH Insert Number. Luke's brash nature is both an asset and a disadvantage to the team, while his boldness works well in a crisis it also stops any serious interactions with the other members of the team effectively isolation him from the others. While this makes for good reading in the short term as a team leader he should care about those he leads.

A possible scenario to change could be a situation where he is separated from the other handlers and has to rely on the cons to help him only for them to refuse. After only barley escaping he could talk to either the other handlers or heros such as Cap or Tony on tips to become a better leader. With this new information he could start a double life where he hangs out with the criminal element and fostering an element of trust with the more reasonable members of the team while remaining a 'blunt instrument' out in the field.

Another, possibly related sub-plot could be his relationship with his wife and child. Surely they must be taking something of a back foot with everything that is happening, making him vulnerable to manipulation from people such as Moonstone or Satana. In return for good behaviour they could start demanding privileges moving up to sleeping with Cage. Of course these things never stay secret for long and would cause drama with the rest of his team not to mention his wife.

**Abner Jenkins (Currently MACH V I believe)**

Abe is a core member of the Thunderbolts and one of my favourites as he truly has become a hero. That said Abe has had the least attention of any of the Thunderbolts and is often dismissed as a poor man's Iron Man. Maybe some action out of the armor would help, showing that Abe has the capability to be a hero without his suit. Another interesting development could be aiding in the search for Scorpion and Alistair Smythe, the former as a favour to his one time friend and the later for revenge. The later could drive Abe to the edge, maybe even give him the decision of incapacitate or kill Smythe, the later ending in his incarceration in the Raft.

While in jail Abe would have to defend himself, being a former guard, resulting in a harder, more cynical character emerging. In one encounter he could be harmed so much that he has to be moved to another prison only to have the transport hijacked by a bad guy like Zemo who black-mails him into working for him again. In the end Abe turns on Zemo and is granted clemency for his actions. In addition a rekindling of the romance with Songbird is always welcome.

If Abe chooses to capture Smythe instead he could go down a different route where he is reprimanded for abandoning his post for the sake of revenge. Angry at his superiors Abe could leave the Raft warning Fixer and Songbird to be wary, lest the same thing happen to them. While away from the Thunderbolts Abe could learn of a disaster that resulted in the elimination of his former team mates. Angrily Abe confronts the Thunderbolt programme director only to discover that it was a set up to remove any troublesome elements. Armed with this knowledge Abe recruits former Thunderbolt Members to take down the corrupt director and redeem the names of his former colleges.

**Norbert Ebshrol (Fixer)**

To be honest Fixer crosses the line more times then Moonstone, so much so that I believe he gets frequent flyer miles every time he does. With the jokes over what Fixer needs to do is socialize, be it with the other Thunderbolts or the outside world. While he has a good relationship with MACH Insert Number and I can see the writers trying a 'big brother' thing with Luke Cage, I can see Fixer and Ghost becoming friends or at least discussing a general interest with computers. Most of all Fixer needs a girl/boy friend, maybe somebody who gets in trouble who he can bale out to persuade people he can be capable of heroics.

That said with the recent time travelling incident it is more likely that Fixer will head into the darker end of the grey zone. He could even go completely off the edge and be revealed as a sleeper agent for Zemo, possibly one who has been implanting control nanites in various Thunderbolts Past and present so the Baron can use them for his world domination scheme. In all while I would like to believe Fixer will be written as a reformed criminal every time he begins to head towards the light something knocks him back.

**Karla Sophen (Moonstone)**

As Songbird once said something along these lines, "Moonstone has been through the programme and it didn't help". That being said Thunderbolts isn't Thunderbolts without Marvel's most traitorous manipulative super bitch around. The classic formula of Moonstone betraying her team is beginning to become frayed and has painted her as a one-dimensional character when she was once billed as a caring almost maternal figure to Jolt. Personally I blame the end of this Moonstone on Hawkeye breaking up with her when she slipped into a coma, because until then she was heading towards redemption. As such maybe a reunion with Hawkeye could be arranged, not only would manipulating her former lover into sex be a 'Moonstone thing to do' but it's high time that Clint and Bobby's relationship hit a rough patch.

While Moonstone was on the Dark Avengers she masqueraded once again as a hero. An interesting development that could be perused is a Moonstone-Ms. Marvel power struggle to see who gets to wear the uniform as well as Karla secretly getting revenge for the defeat during Siege. This story could also potentially bring the Thunderbolt's and Avengers into conflict, something that has been long overdue and would almost certainly attract new readers. In the end if Thunderbolts is shelved, I'd wager that Moonstone would weather the storm better then the rest, she could quite easily become a fully fledged villain for the Avengers.

**Ghost (So many Ghost Jokes so Little Time)**

I like Ghost a lot as a Thunderbolt, and of all the new members he's the only one I would see as being firmly of course for redemption. Like Fixer, Ghost could quite easily slip into being a villain again, especially since he left (albeit on a noble cause to capture the escaped Thunderbolts) the positive influence of Luke Cage, MACH Insert Number and Songbird. Unlike Fixer I can see Ghost remaining Sociably Antisocial, while he's there and being helpful he's won't make any special attachments due to his paranoia. This could foster a sense of dread in the other characters keeping a sense of tension even if he isn't planning something evil.

More recently we saw a Ghost - Iron Man confrontation which persuaded that Stark no longer had his finger in every corporate pie in existence. Sadly I imagine this to be a lie, something that could lure Ghost back to being a cyber terrorist once again. If he can avoid this temptation I can imagine him moving into a Core Character spot, staying with the Thunderbolt team when the time travel arc has been dealt with.

**Cain Marko (Juggernaut)**

Come back Juggernaut all is forgiven. One can easily imagine Juggernaut returning to the Raft and surrendering to the Thunderbolts, during a search for his true self, as shown in the story when he, Ghost and Crossbones escaped into an alternate universe. A mixture of pride and penance would make his character the Thunderbolt's unreliable powerhouse, a character that could quite literally run you down just because he feels like it. Another interesting revelation is that he alone among the candidates of the Worthy had the power to resist the Serpent's influence using Cytotak's power. Whether this is because he didn't want to revert to being under Cytotak's control or if he wanted to become even more powerful should be explored, possibly by Satana and/or Moonstone.

More then anything though Juggernaut's potential return to the Thunderbolts would be a chance for an X-Men crossover in a similar style of the Jenifer Kale/Thunderbolts crossover when she came to rescue Man Thing. While using the X-Men to prop up the Thunderbolt's seems morally wrong at best all we have to do is look at the Royal Bank of Scotland that is doing very well after it was bailed out with tax-payers money.

**Satana**

When Satana arrived in the Thunderbolts I was confused, at times I hated her and others believed that she was a good fit in the group. Over the time I started leaning to the later of the ideas. Satana could quite easily become the middle ground between Songbird and Moonstone representing the neutrality between the good and bad they represent. The former relationship with Jenifer Kale and Man Thing must not be over-looked it was the chance to work with the later that she agreed to join the Thunderbolts.

**Ted Sallis (Man-Thing)**

While Man Thing is defiantly in-need of some redemption I think that he could ultimately find it elsewhere. His relationship with Moonstone could be explained, especially the reason why he started to bond with her. That said when the relationship becomes pear shaped (no pun intended) his presence could put the entire team in jeopardy.

**Brock Rummlow (Crossbones)**

Do not under any circumstances re-admit into the Thunderbolts, his time on the team made Bullseye look like a saint in comparison.

**2.2 Beta Bolt Team**

**John Walker (US Agent)**

Warden John Walker may be crippled but as we saw in the attempted break-out, he can still handle himself. Warden Walker is very much at the edge of the Thunderbolts, he does his job and rarely interacts, it might be interesting to see this change, he could get those blade legs that the Paralympians use, and take a more active role on the team. Although Walker is a hero I can see him becoming a much darker character in the future, cool blade legs or not, as he begins to truly hate the scum he is responsible. His closeness to the former Captain America could also act against the Thunderbolts especially if he was put in to keep an eye on Luke Cage's performance.

What most people want to see is a rematch of one of the few redeeming moments of the Dark Bolt Saga, the battle between Nuke (or Scourge) and Walker. Last time Walker was beaten but that was only because Nuke had a magical spear. Next time the fight will most likely be more even and unlike Captain America, Walker may have the motivation to go all the way and finish Nuke off once and for all.

**Melissa Joan Gold (Songbird)**

Songbird once again arrives at that same old crossroads she seems to frequent. More then any other character in Marvel, Songbird deserves a place in the Avengers. Not only is this widely talked about in Thunderbolts Forums but Captain America, Hawkeye and Radiation Man among others have all suggested she joins. Unfortunately Melissa is to stubbornly loyal to leave the Thunderbolts something that is looking more and more like what her head stone will read, especially with the Thunderbolt vs. Thunderbolt action tag line, "One Thunderbolt will die, One Thunderbolt will save the world."

For a surviving Melissa, that same old crossroads awaits, she can do a heel turn and return to a life of crime as Screaming Mimi, unlikely but still mildly plausible. She could always try for an Avenger Spot but there are rumours that she would be killed off early, a fate that I don't want to see especially when she has reached the top level of Marvel Heros. This leaves us with the side routes, both of which that lead to the Thunderbolts but take her in vastly different directions. Melissa has always been outspoken about her superiors if she feels that they are not treating her and her team-mates without respect, something that has once again come up this time with Cage and Walker's treatment of the Thunderbolts as Disposable Assets. It wouldn't be a surprise to see her lead a coup or separate entirely from the staff at the Raft.

The other route sees Melissa become the Thunderbolts 'Captain America' a true hero, one who cares for her team-mates and leading the members into an age where they become true Heros. Already analogues with the Avengers can be see with Songbird as Captain America, MACH Insert Number as the Thunderbolts Iron Man and people like Boomerang, Ghost, Juggernaut and Troll all beginning to take roles similar to Hawkeye, Antman, The Hulk and Thor. This above all others it the brightest future for the Thunderbolts but one that will I'm almost certain of stay out of reach.

**Gunna (Troll)**

Troll has a bright future in-front of her as long as the Thunderbolt's don't get shelved, she has already proven herself to be a strong and adaptable fighter as well as being fiercely loyal to Songbird, the only thing she's lacking is a strong support web of allies. While she already has a mother (Songbird) Troll needs, like Fixer, to make some relationships to support her character. Possible matches on the team are Juggernaut (if her returns), Man Thing (Troll is pretty fearless) and possibly even Ghost (since like her he prefers his own company).

One thing I fear about Troll is the conniving influence of Moonstone, while the two of them hanging out together could tap into Karla's long dormant maternal side it is more likely that Moonstone will turn Troll against Songbird. While another possible rift between the two would be entertaining I'd worry that Troll would be forgotten by the writers or worse abused until they decide to kill her off to settle the problem.

**Calvin Zabo (Mr. Hyde)**

I don't like Hyde, there I got my first though off my chest about the character, yes he brings some muscle to the team but it's an odd fit at best. Hyde previously appeared as a Drug Dealer and all round Bad Guy who almost kills the Avengers. While he defiantly is more redeemable then Crossbones I wouldn't mind seeing Hyde leave the team and return to general villainy. If he is forced to stay with the Thunderbolts I can see him quickly becoming distant from the others and like Moonstone using any moment available to screw the team over and escape.

**Noah Black (Centurius)**

Centurius reminds me a lot of Zemo, he only plays hero when he has no other choice. This puts him firmly outside the redeemable band but makes him a good internal enemy slot; the person you know is bad and is twisting everything he does for his own goal. Despite this I can see him being useful to the Thunderbolts, maybe working on building a new transport to replace Man Thing, upgrading equipment and generally working behind the scenes until he finds the right moment to strike.

Centurius is a corrupting influence however; he is smart enough to play the team and could convert some of the more troubled members to his cause in a play for power. The particularly vulnerable members are Ghost and Fixer due to the shared love of technology, it probably wouldn't take much for these two to be suckered into working for him and once paired with Moonstone, who would make a good forth member to this little splinter cell, could probably take and hold the Raft for a while, giving time for Centurius to finish the evil plans he's been working on.

**Fred Myers (Boomerang)**

Billed as a less psychotic Bullseye, Boomerang could quite easily become a hero and valued member of the team. It wasn't long before the start of the Heroic Age Arc when he was masquerading as Outback a bona fide hero for the Initiative. That said he later murdered Jackpot's daughter so like MACH Insert Number in the original line-up in Thunderbolts #1 there might be some compulsory prison time to keep the general public of Earth 616 loving the Thunderbolts. Boomerang recently appeared in an article about the Thunderbolts vs. Thunderbolts episode as being a stand out character, whether this means he's going to be murdered, a murder or even Earth's Saviour. Hopefully the character will show his true colours and save the Earth, a truly amazing feat for the only Thunderbolt not to have any powers or fancy armor.

**Herman Schultz (Shocker)**

A return of Shocker doesn't look likely especially since it's the return of the Charcoal Factor (a fan decision quashed by the writers). While it would be nice to see Shocker putting the Thunder in Thunderbolt, the damage has been done and it would just seem like a mockery of all the fans who voted to put him on the team in the first place.

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><p><strong>Step 3 - If the worst happens…<strong>

If Thunderbolts does indeed slip into being another title from the 90s being shelved there are several things that can be done to save it.

**Renumbering**

Start again from #1 with a new cast of characters, either minor villains or original characters mixed in with a few old favourites. A good start could be a big-bad such as the Purple Man, the Red Skull or even Zemo or Osborne gathering a group of Hench-villains and marketing them as Heros. Marvel could even try and tie the group with the current Villains for Hire and New Dark Avengers Teams that are causing havoc. Not only would you have two solid fan bases to start from but it would also revive what the Thunderbolts originally stood for Redemption.

**Earth (Another Number)**

Do an Ultimate or other Marvel Universe tie-ins. So far the Thunderbolts have less universal coverage then any other major super team. It would be quite easy to slip them into the Ultimate Universe where none, save a computer mention of Abner Jenkins, have appeared. While this may not save the Earth 616 Thunderbolts it could in theory keep the characters alive and allow them to be redesigned while a potential salvage attempt of the original team occurs.

**TV Appearances**

More TV appearances of the Thunderbolts, either as their Master of Evil grouping or as Heros would help the team gain some popularity. While Zemo keeps getting good coverage on shows like the Avengers: Earths Mightiest Heros the rest either have one or two appearances (Radiation Man, Songbird, Fixer and Photon) or none at all (MACH I-V, Atlas, Jolt and Moonstone). While I'm not saying they should get their own show a little more coverage wouldn't hurt their chances at survival and show that they are cool characters.

**Blaze of Glory**

If the Thunderbolts have to go down, make their demise earth shattering, something that affects the entire Marvel Universe. Who knows if the last few comics are good the title may be resurrected like the poverbial Captain America from beyond the grave.

Thank you for reading I don't expect you to act on any of this or even respond but who knows you may surprise me.

Yours (mostly) sincerely

Impurest Cheese


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